From Beard to Yeard

The Story

Sometime just over a year ago we were watching a lot of Game of Thrones and Outlander, and being in my 30s where it’s not all that realistic to grow my head hair, I decided I’d try to grow a yeard. This is going a full year without any facial hair grooming. It’s not just a gimmick or arbitrary challenge, but like many who have gone before, the objective is to grow the beard long enough that you can shape it into a really good permanent long beard. I’ve had quite a few people ask if or when I’m going to shave the beard off. My response is usually, “What, are you nuts? Why would I go through all this just to get rid of it?”

After twelve months you have a really good, oversized block of facial hair that a barber can take to like a sculptor and work into a good shape. Before a year, it isn’t really clear which direction or shape your final beard is going to take, and with the full yeard, there’s plenty of facial hair for the barber to work with.

While beards are apparently trendy, I prefer to think that there was a brief period of time in which beards were not viewed as aesthetically pleasing. But putting fashions aside, I just feel more me with a beard. I’ve had one for at least six years, but the long beard now appears to be part of me. (Or am I a part of it?)

At any rate, here are some things I’ve learnt along the way.

1. I started in winter, which made getting through summer particularly difficult. But after doing one summer, I feel prepared for the summers to come.
2. I found it much easier to avoid reading about other people’s experiences growing a yeard while I was growing mine. It’s like baking — don’t keep checking or it’ll never cook.
3. Don’t listen to anyone (including hair dressers / barbers) who tell you to trim along the way. Sure, you might have a crazy looking beard, but there’s a point to all this.
4. Do use beard shampoo and a good beard oil, daily. Helps to keep the beard feel soft, avoids irritation.
5. The beard will look pretty crazy for the first few months and the last couple of months. For the period in the middle, with some daily beard oil, it looks pretty good!
6. Do brush the beard each morning.
7. Knots and split ends are real!
8. When the moustache gets long, it will affect your ability to eat most foods elegantly. Drinking coffee from anything other than a take-away cup is interesting.
9. Do not, under any circumstances attempt to groom or shape the beard yourself. At the conclusion of the twelve months, go to a barber who has experience re-shaping beards.

I went to Brother Wolf in Greville Street, Prahran for final beard shaping, and it’s a really fascinating experience. They take to the beard with a pair of clippers held away from the beard, and gradually trim to form a graceful shape. Once you see the barber at work doing this, you really understand that this is not something you should try on your own. If you’re looking for a good barber for dealing with grooming a yeard, it’s probably a safe bet to go to a place where the barbers all have beards.

Finally, I’d like to thank my partner, friends, family and coworkers for their support and lack of ridicule during this project. It’s been a lot of fun.